Yes, I have been accepted in UCLA in Film Producing starting winter 2019, yes, I have also decided to take Martin Scorsese's Filmmaking class at Masteclass, more schools from Hollywood to New York are just coming in now with interest, its one way street for me and I will walk to the End of the Earth with God next to me, but why? what are my reasons for changing my life again?
1: I am NOT comfortable with “what I know” (past experiences) stepping into the unknown and out of my comfort zone for me is a way of living, even when “what I know” is bad. Fear is a great stopper for a lot of people and I have no fear as I believe that God Above created me to love myself. For most of us our thinking is the problem, we all look for a way out but we all agonizing about whether we can do it.
2: I do want to feel the pain and all the uncomfortable feelings that come with changes. This is how I learn more about my limitations and myself, how to respect others, how to be eclectic, who and what I'm willing to deal with, how to say no to toxic situations and people, how to forgive (for my inner peace), how to keep dreaming for a better tomorrow, how to be strong and see all difficalties as an opportunity to grow wiser, the hate, the lies, the declines and the rejections from people from the past and present are all received as blessings from God, for me to become who I've become. People generally don’t like pain and would rather suffer on with what they’re currently doing than face the growing pains of change, even when the current situation is not so good. Even though the pain of change is usually temporary, we still shy away from it.
3: I've given my power, my talent & my soul away. (NO MORE) Sometimes, we’ve given our power away to other people. What “they think” becomes more important than what “we think”. We place more importance on others’ happiness than our own, or we mistakenly believe we are responsible for another person’s happiness (you never are). These people are toxic, they never appreciate you, they simply use you, walk away from them and never turn back. (LET GO OF THE PAST) Learning my lesson for the past decade, now ALL my power, my talent and mostly my soul goes to ME! (don't worry, when you win an "Oscar" they will all beg you to be part of your life again) .... sad that 'success' and 'money' or 'power' can be the only reason for some people to like you or to love you.
Yes, it's a difficult road, after decades of performing, creating, touring, producing and directing is now time for me to change, to really walk the 'red carpet' with all my life experiences and talents and shine more than a diamond. I know that I have to do unspeakable things and deal with evil daily in order for me to survive but I will win through God, my friend, my savior which strengthens me and who I Trust.
“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” – Galatians 6:9
SO HELP ME GOD!